Fresh Funny SmS Jokes

Can U solve

"Sun + Lion + 1/4 = ?"

Socho

Demagh larao

Phir socho nhi solve howa na

Chalo khair

Ye

Banta hey

After shair Pao

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.......






Sundar Baught A New Mobile

Sundar: Oyee yeh sent message kya hota hai
Mohan: Jis message mein khushboo ho usse sent message kehte hai.










Aap ke ghar hum zaroor aayenge,
Har pal aayenge,
Har waqt aayenge,
Din bhar aayenge,
Aur
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Aur
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Aur
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Aur
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Bell bajakar bhag jayengey…






Santa soote waqt
Do glass rakhte hai,
Ek mein paani sur ek
Khaali why?

Socho?
Kyunki pyas lag bhi sakti
Hai aur nahi bhi.

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Really Funny Jokes

• Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
  2nd Child: Why are you crying?
  
  1st Child: I came here for a blood test.
  
  2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
  
  1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
  
  At this, the second one started crying profusely.
  
  The first one was astonished.
  
  1st Child: Why are you crying now?
  
  2nd Child: I came for a urine test !

• Maa ne apni beti se poocha, "How your married life is going on?"
  Beti ne sharmate huye kaha,"It was just like the advertisement of British airways"
  Jab mother ne advertisement dekhi to woh shock ho gayi : 7 days a week , twice a day , both ways.

• Santa sardar and banta sardar was talking two each other. Santa sardar asks banta sardar - What is diffrence between
  1. Girlfriend
  2. Lover
  3. Wife
  4. Stepny
  
  Banta sardar said that the answer is very very simple
  1. Prepaid
  2. Lifetime
  3. Postpaid
  4. Coinbooth

• Ek baar ek aadmi ke paas ek haathi hota hai. Wo haathi kuch bhi nahi bolta. Haathi kaa malik pareshan ho jata ki yeh haathi kkuch bolta kyo nahi. Haathi ka malik bahut koshish karta hai par haathi phir nhi kuck mahi bolta.
  Ab haathi ka malik ek Competetion rakhta hai ki jo bhi is haathi ke muh se awaaz nikal wayega, use ek lakh rupees ka inaam diya jayega. Bahut log koshish karte hai, par koi bhi haathi ke muh se awaaz nahi nikal wa pata.
  Itne me Santa sardar waha pahuch jata hai. Woh haathi ke peeche jata hai, uski pooch uthata hai aur uska land pakad ke jor se daba deta hai aur tab haathi jor se cheekh marta hai. Santa sardar 1 lakh ka inaam leke waha se chal deta hai.
  Kuch mahino baad haathi ka malik phir ek pratiyogita rakhta hai ki jo bhi haathi ke muh se ha aur na ki awaaz nikalwayega, use 2 lakh ka inaam diya jayega. Sab log koshish karte hai, par koi bhi haarthi ke meu se ha aur na nahi nikal pata.
  Itne me phir se waha santa sardar pahuch jata hai. Wo haathi ke muh ke saamne jata hai aur kehta hai:
  Santa sardar : Pehchadayee merte (Did you recognise me)
  Haathi : Haaaaaa
  Santa Sardar : Waiyaa Pichhe (Should i go your backside)
  Haathi : Naaaaaaa
  Santa sardar 2 lakh rupees leke chala jata hai.

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Managment SMS Messages

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich.
“Marry me!” - That’s Direct Marketing… ”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: “He’s very rich.
“Marry him.” -That’s Advertising. ..”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich.
“Marry me - That’s Telemarketing. ..”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)”Marry Me?” -
That’s Public Relations… ”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
“Can you marry ! me?” - That’s Brand Recognition. ..”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. - “That’s Customer Feedback…”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband. - “That’s demand and supply gap…”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party
. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him - “That’s competition eating into your market share…”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives. - “That’s restriction for entering new markets

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Story SMS Jokes

• Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says "Dr i've got aids" Dr replys "U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby" Jelly Baby says "yes but Dr i've been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!

• chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking।Egg rolls over annoyed saying"i guess we answered that question"

• A teacher ask"wot part of the body goes to heaven first?"A child replies"feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I'M COMIN!

• Little Girl:"Mommy I just found out that the little boy next door has a penis like a peanut" Mommy:"u mean its small?"Little Girl:"No its salty"

• an essex girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives।the paramedic asks 'how many fingers have i got up?'the girl replies- oh no i think im paralised too

• Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya.

• Zindagi mein hamesha SMART log milenge, kahi zyada to kahi kum milenge, choice zara sochke karna, zaroori nahi har jagah tumhe hum jaise milenge.

• Machchar ne aapko kata wo uska JUNUN tha, aapne khujli ki wo aapka SUKUN tha, chahkar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski ragon mein bhi aapka hi KHOON tha.

• A Doctor has come to see a patient. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "doctor" says the men excitedly, "will i be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?"
  "I don't see why not," replies the doctor.
  "That's funny," says the man. "I wasn't able to play it before".

• Teacher: You call your mother as mum. What'll you call your mother's younger sister and elder sister?
  Kid: Mini mum and maxi mum!

• Boss:I am giving you driver's job. Starting salary Rs 3000. Is it ok?
  Driver: You are great sir! Starting salary is OK but how much is driving salary?

• Santa gets a cheque and throws it on the ground. Can you guess why?
  To see whether it will bounce or not!

• A man looked in the mirror and said : seems i have seen him somewhere.
  
  Then he says: Oh yes! He's the same idiot who was standing next to my wife in my wedding album.

• What's an adult joke?
  Santa: Any joke which is eighteen years old.

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Valentine Day SMS, Valentine Day SMS Jokes, Valentine Day SMS Message

...........TO MY...................
.........VALENTINE...............
....I LOVE YOU SO COMPLEETLY.....
......OUR LOVE IS A DEEP.........
........AS THE ACEAN.............
....AS HIGH AS THE STARS........
.............AND.................
,,,,,,,,,AS SPECIAL,,,,,,,,,,,,
.,.,.,.,.AS THE SKY.,.,.,.,.,..




THERES,S SO SOMETHING
ABOUT
VALENTINE;S DAY
THAT REALLY
TURNS ME ON ..............
YOU......YOU....YOU.....
I LOVE YOU ON VALLENTINES DAY
WITH ALL MY HEART...........





BE MINE VALLENTINE
I AM SENDING YOU THIS
VALENTINE WISH
WITH HUGS AND KISSESS ,TOO ;
CAUSE THERE,S A PLACE
HERE IN MY NEART THAT,S
MAD FOR ONLY YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!





If there were no words
No way to speak
I would still here you
If there were no tears
No it to feel inside
I would still feel for you
And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if all ends ran out Love
I would still have you here
Until the end of time
All I need is you my VALENTINE.




---;-<@
---;-<@
---;-<@
Roses exclusively from a nice person...
"U"
From a simple person...
"ME"
Keep roses until they dry...
Keep my relation until I die...
Happy Valentine's Day !





IF A PURFUMED ROSE TOUCHES YOUR FACE,
IF YOUR MOBILE DANCES ON A NICE TONE,
REMEMBER ITS ME TRYING TO SAY YOU"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY"

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